1. |
The Mess in My Mind
03:52
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As far as I’m concerned I may just die from being OCD
But nothing soothes me more than the smell of old books and warm tea and your smile
My head’s been fucked up, lately everything’s a jumble
I haven’t seen you in a while
I’ve been staying up late trying to straighten out the mess in my mind; Candle lit nights
It’s this belligerence, this sleepless drunkenness that gets me late in the night
This insomnia induced, philosophical state of mind
The answers shine bright like moths attracted to the light
And I’m fine, I’m just taking my time
Learning not to sacrifice meaning for rhyme and I’m just
Living life the way that I have learned how to
So I’ve been writing with good grammar ’cause it seems like the mature thing to do
And with everything that’s jumbled it’s just one less thing that needs to be confused; and I finally cleaned my room
And those Lost Boys and Peter Pan it turns out really understood life
Well they never wanted to grow up, and I tell you now neither do I; The years fly by
And what could possibly beat building forts and having wooden sword fights?
And who wants to pay the mortgage? Do the Dishes and watch your parents slowly die?
It’s a downhill slide
And I’m fine, I’m just taking my time
Learning not to sacrifice meaning for rhyme and I’m just
Living life the way that I have learned how to
So I’m sitting here alone with my thoughts, silence screaming in my ears
And the walls are standing oh so still just live they’ve done so faithfully for years
And it scares the shit right out of me that life lived now is only memory
And it seems like all we talk about these days is the way it used to be
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2. |
You Are a Box
03:43
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Up on the mantlepiece there is a box
And I like to think that you’re inside, real small
Well it’s been well over a year now and I still cry
I guess it’s hard to know something your whole life and watch it die
And now to say hi I just undo your little screws
And I take off the lid just like a little roof
But your ashes aren’t quite as soft as you were
And your box is pretty nice, but it can not purr
You are a box, polished and tear stained
You are a photograph, but even pictures fade
And it’s these lonely summer nights that drive me insane
A year from the day I went to the hill and scattered your remains
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3. |
I Am a Tree
03:38
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I get dejávu in ways I wouldn’t know to explain
Sick of playing this game
Running circles in frames
Same faces different names
Going fucking insane
Waiting out in the water for a shark to take
Hold of this leg
And Drag me down to the bottom
Give me anything to end this endlessness
Variety is looking slim
The days are looking grim
The ocean floor is blue, peaceful the lights are dim
I get migraines in the most intensive kind of way
Sick of lying in pain
Victimized to my brain
Let me off of this train
I was kicking and screamin’
Going fucking insane, bursting at the seams
And I was running wild
I was learning to fly
I was dying to be, I was learning to die
Don’t leave me alone
With my meticulous mind
Everything is blurry so I’ll just close my eyes
I am a tree
Bending in the blistering breeze
whipped by the wind, buckling at the knees
And I lost all my leaves
Just the same as I got ‘em
Every single last one from the top to the bottom
But you’re a friend
To these wooden veins
And you can stand under my branches when its pouring rain
Let me off of this train
I got a friend at the station
With a beautiful soul and an eye for creation
And she’s fine...
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4. |
Only a Boy
07:45
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And deep hidden in all the hearts of the people who knew
all the world seeking answers lay strictly confused
and the planes and the media trains in my head
dealing out the death sentences and most of them read
that the words on the parchment were dying and dead.
Deep and entangled in meaningless gossip
and leaning quite close to hear, the truth will destroy you dear
feverish collaborations of meaningless vowels and syllables
designed to crush your hypothetical head
the words on the parchment lay dead
Now I hate to inquire but all of your spitfire is
driving me menacingly close to the edge and see
I am no rich man in fact I am only a boy
paranoid and distraught and completely devoid of a harmless intention
the words just make noise
seemingly statuesque a fine little pretty miss caught in a picture
come and take your photograph at the edge of the world
now this time I wont let the words interfere
I'm no longer afraid to be perfectly clear
and the moon and the stars will bare witness to this day
the truth will remain and the shackles will break
and the mold will be broken and cash will be burned
and the trees with their axes will take their turns
and the forests will build all their houses of people like
here is the church and here is the
steeply rising rate, of death in wars
and unprotected teen sex and abortion
and all of America’s spiraling faster and
crashing to rubble and burning to ashes
and twisted enough in all of the commotion
I spot an elixir pertaining to potion
with post-it note letters that scream out to me
he who wish it shall drink this
return from the darkness and see
I am only a boy I know not what I speak of
all my senses destroyed I know not what I drink of
and I am just paranoid I know not what to think of this
but I am only a boy to coy even to speak of!
I am only a boy
I am only a boy
I am only a boy
I am only a boy
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5. |
If Loneliness Could Kill
05:51
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If loneliness could kill
I’d be a dead flower on the side of the hill
Under the fallen snow
And I’d grow old alone and die.
If silhouettes could speak their mind
Mine would tell me he’s the only friend I’ll ever find
And he wouldn’t lie
He follows me around all the time
If plastic stars glow in the dark at night
On the ceiling of my bedroom it’ll be alright
Because I know that I’m safe here in my memories.
And memories speak kindly of my withered spine
And my pedals that were young once but grew old in time
And if you took a hike you just might find
A lonely flower dying on a desolate hillside.
Well open up the world like a pop up book
Dust off your thinking caps and spectacles and take a look
Because the moral of the story was mistook.
And I’m getting sick of all the people who refuse to see
And tired of hearing how the masses just refuse to believe
And its getting old watching you try to become free
But your soul is stuck in the piano bed
Entangled in the notes of music that you never read
And you’re surrounded by friends, you thinking you’re living life
You’re on the same hill as me, just on the opposite side.
And if you ever tried to live life by the rules
You might find that this world is unusually cruel
And if you ever cried and felt like a fool
You might feel the way I do when I see him with you
Well everyone has somebody except for me
I’m all alone reading my books and living life in a tree
And it’s getting old living this life just for me
And I will never live and I’ll never die
And I will never think again and I refuse to try
And I will never sing and I’ll never cry
And I will never get my feelings hurt cause I’m not alive
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Alexander DiGrazia Eugene, Oregon
Song craft from Eugene, Oregon based Alex DiGrazia.
Recording has been on hiatus since the
last release in 2011.
Keep your ears peeled for more to come.
And always, thanks for listening.
... more
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